Because we're out playing golf on meth

What the fuck is a ScumBro?

We're not entirely sure, but everybody has a dark little corner in their heart that's a dirty, filthy little shambles; it's a place we're scared to show off but totally comfortable in.
It's that depraved, hedonistic place that rests in us like a gooey, caramel centre, filled with smut, booze and creative insults.
Scum and Proud It's that part of you that makes you say yes to tequila shots on the night before a big work meeting, the impulse that encourages public nudity and the source of your pride when you get your first mugshot.
Now all this is sounding pretty macho and male driven but hold your horses ladies, you can be just as big a scumbro as any man can too.
Need an example, it's the part of you that says it's okay to pretend your tantruming 2 year old isn't yours in a public place. That viscous element that makes you enjoy porn, or beer or anything else that's supposedly a 'male' vocation. Ever worn the same shirt for three days because you were on holiday? Welcome to accepting your scumbro nature.
So why are we here?
Fuck we don't know but one point to be sure of; while we are here, let's celebrate our inner scumbro, lets revel in the realm of the wrong and lets bring a clear window into what it is to be SCUM, which ultimately means we're a human in need of a smoke, a drink and a good lay!!
Last but not least
You might be reading this and asking your self, fuck they seem to use a lot of big words for 'Scum', to that remark we say FUCK YOU, we said we were scum, not fucking stupid.